Friday, December 30, 2011

Responding to "Why I don’t like the term ‘fat acceptance’ – Axis of Fat"

Original post at: Why I don’t like the term ‘fat acceptance’ – Axis of Fat:

my thoughts:

"Interesting post. I've been wondering recently about how I feel about this, and I've decided that I like the term 'acceptance.' After reading your post, I think this is because I do have that emotional connection to that word. Now I celebrate my body, celebrate and embrace fatness, but there was a very long time, a very dark time, when I didn't: when I loathed my body, when I loathed the bodies of others. I had totally internalized all those negative cultural messages about how thin is in etc, and I was a slave to the magazines that implored me to 'love my body' while also showing me what I was supposed to look like (a waif, impossible on my frame) and how to diet to look like I was 'supposed to' according to mags etc. ad nauseum. I thought that loving my body, celebrating my body, was something I could only do when I finally made my body conform - I wasn't going to flaunt it until I got it. While it felt impossible to love my body, it was something I wanted very much. When I heard about size acceptance, I felt in a way, it would be easy to do ,but that I didn't want it. At the time, initially, I thought it was about giving up on having a perfect body (of course it was about giving up - giving up the fantasy of being thin) but the more I learned about accepting my body and how much happiness it could bring me, the more I felt able to do it. I couldn't go from hating to loving my body, my fat, and other people's fat bodies - I had to go from hate to love THROUGH acceptance. Acceptance was/is a gateway and a building block for me. There was no way I could celebrate my body without making peace with it, and I don't think I could have found my way into loving my body if not for the phrasing 'fat acceptance'. It stood out for me amid the contradictory messages of 'love your body/drop 10lbs in a week.'"

Inspirational images - curve central

hair tutorial: the gibson tuck

I found this simple but elegant upstyle today when searching for easy alternatives to boring ratty old ponytails.

In a nutshell: 

You need: hair bobbin, hair pins, roller or hair rat for extra oomph, hairspray, comb, accessories if required. 

I followed the tutorial video at 
but made some adjustments. 

  1. backcomb the whole head of hair, add a little hairspray
  2. smooth into a ponytail in the centre of the back of the head - don't squash all the volume!
  3. pull the ponytail bobbin out a little, as if taking it out of the hair
  4. in the bit between bobbin and head, make a little hole - not all the way through
  5. roll the ponytail into the hole. use a roller or hair rat for extra oomph - but take more care with putting it in the hole sideways
  6. pin pin pin. use as many pins as necessary. hold the tuck with one hand and  pin with the other, pinning vertically
  7. add more pins for the side areas if bits are falling out or braid./twist these bits then pin into the roll 
There are several tutorials online, but these two are my favourites.
First, from, I've made my own collage from her photos showing the hair best:
and her video tutorial on the same page is excellent

Second, I love the accessories and the ideas about braids and twists to bring this look up to date in this tutorial at

I think this might work for shopping, work, or even interviews if done very neat.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

I bought a crimson lipstick yesterday, and I started this blog too

Yesterday I went shopping for some shoes. I left my favourite - and only - pair of black flats at my parents house and I won't be able to get them back again for about 6 weeks. Now that doesn't mean I have millions of heels to prance about the place in. My shoe collection is woeful. But anyway, off I went into town, got some shoes, from Pennys, hopefully they will last until I can get my shoes back. I also bought a crimson lipstick. No big deal for some people, in fact I'm sure that almost every female alive must have at least 10 and I'm the last to the party. It was a big deal for me though. It was more than just a lipstick.
I've been thinking about this all day, did a bit of web searching, just a little - about what lipstick means, what it symbolises and so on. But for me, I didn't understand what it meant until I wore it. It means confidence. It means not being afraid to be noticed. It means making a statement about my personality and, I suppose, yes, even about my sexuality. All I know is that the first time I wore it, I felt daring, brave, confident, beautiful, sexy, womanly. Buying and wearing crimson lipstick was a definitely a defining moment in my life, marking big changes for me :)

the awkward first post

Every now and again I get an urge to blog. I’ve started several, but I’ve never really kept them up, mainly because they were too limited in focus. There was one about growing my nails – yawn  - one about food and recipes, one about fat acceptance etc. I want this one to be different. I want to write it for me, to help in the processes of figuring myself out, finding a job, changing careers, practicing fat acceptance, my forays into fashion and beauty, or as Himself puts it, ‘being a girl’.  Because I’m writing this for myself, I’m going to put all of this and more into this space. It will be a bit random, a bit disjointed, but then so am I. At the same time though, if anyone ever reads this, I don’t want it to come across as one of those awful ‘my life wonderful yours is shit’ lifestyle blogs you see so much of. Gwenyth Paltrow’s blog being a prime example – it just reeks of  ’iamsowonderfulDOWHATISAYANDBELIKEME’.
 But I want to make a commitment to blogging. That means that I’m not going to force myself to write stunning insightful posts, but instead I’m just gonna write, think, respond to stuff I read and so on. Maybe the posts will be long, maybe they will be short, and no doubt some people (if anyone apart from me ever reads it) will think it brutally boring, but hey, here I am, I’m ok with that.
Oh and I am wearing red lipstick right now, for the first time in my life :)